Lizard Hatches Inside Smuggler’s Vagina

A bizarre medical emergency aboard a flight from Indonesia saw an Alabama woman give birth to a KOMODO DRAGON in flight. She was internally smuggling five rare lizard eggs to be sold illegally in the United States when one hatched inside her vagina.

“It was the craziest thing ever!” Brenda Perry said. “I think the heat of my vagina must’ve caused one to hatch early. The Hell do I know? I’m no lizard expert. All I know is it hurt like hell coming out. It even bit me, the damn thing. Lucky I had a tampon to stop the bleeding after the monster was out of my vagina or I likely would have bled out and died…”

The woman began to feel an intense stabbing pain in her lower abdomen. Initially, she told authorities, she thought it was caused by the curried duck she’d eaten from a street vendor outside the airport before departure. But soon, she realized that it was something far, far worse…

Komodo

Panicking, she called out for staff to help, who put out an announcement for any doctors on board to assist. There were no medical staff on the flight but, luckily, a German veterinarian was and was able to assist.

Indonesian authorities have since seized all videos captured by onlookers for evidence, but one audio clip was leaked to the press. In it, the woman can be heard being told to ‘push’ by the man delivering the komodo dragon. She can then be heard screaming:

“Oh my God! Oh my God! I can’t believe this is happening… What was I thinkin’?! I can’t believe I’m giving birth to a f*ckin’ lizard! Sh*t. I’m just glad it ain’t a gator. Daddy’s a Seminoles fan, he’d never forgive me. Aaaaaah… Oh my God!”

Komodo

The pilot decided to keep the plane in the air but Perry decided to kill the baby komodo as revenge for the newborn lizard biting her. She flushed it down the onboard toilet, despite protests from the cabin crew and vet.

Komodo dragons are an endangered species. They’re listed on the International Union for Conservation of Nature‘s Red List of Threatened Species. But that doesn’t stop unscrupulous private collectors being willing to pay up to $50,000 for one. As you can imagine, the eggs are much sought after.

Komodo

This isn’t the first time that Perry has found herself in trouble with the law after a smuggling operation backfired. In May 2012 she was arrested attempting to board an American Airlines flight from Melbourne wearing a fake pregnancy bump set-up containing more than fifty expensive rare Peppermint Angelfish.

Brenda has since tried to deny knowing about the cargo she was smuggling. “I thought they were just balloons filled with heroin, not damned lizard eggs. So how can I be charged with a crime I didn’t even know I was committing?!”

Police in Indonesia have charged her with the illegal smuggling and killing of an endangered species. If convicted, she faces up twenty years in prison and $25,000 in fines.

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