If your name’s Richard or William and you’re glum because people can shorten your name to ‘Dick’ or ‘Willy’ – cheer up. Seriously. Even if your name is Fanny, it could always be worse. Trust us, there are loads of worse words you could have scribbled on your birth certificate.
Don’t believe us? We’ve scoured the globe to bring you 30 stone cold examples of what we’re talking about. Enjoy!
1. Well, at least she’s not in the Navy.
2. This New York City taxi driver likes to pick up guys.
3. Ms. Berger is actually Mr. McDonald’s second wife. They married just a few weeks after his divorce from Jane McNuggets was finalised.
4. This kid actually grew up to become a Gender Equality Officer (he didn’t).
5. When the Assistant Dean & Director of Multicultural Recruitment tells you he’s likes you – you know he likes you.
6. Hooker by name… Volleyball player by nature.
7. Well, at least her surname doesn’t start with a ‘G’. You’ve gotta be grateful for small mercies, haven’t you?
8. Here’s number 4’s dad, Phat.
9. This fella’s embraced his daft name as a marketing strategy.
10. And you thought ‘Chewbacca’ was a silly name.
11. Ironically, ‘Tiny’ is actually Dutch for ‘massive’.
12. Sold!
13. Poor ol’ Robert.
14. This school teacher really needs to start putting an apostrophe over the ‘e’ or something…
15. I’d probably go for the ‘AKA’ version if I were Dick…
16. That CAN’T be his real name. I mean, ‘bin’ – who’s ever heard of that as a middle name?
17. ‘Keep your hands where we can see them, Jack…’
18. This one’s not even weird, it’s just a foreign man’s name. How did this one eve get in – oh no, we get it. Ha!
19. Pffft.
20. Ah, this is a nice name. He must be quite a hit with the ladi – oh. Oh dear. 🙁
21. 24 years’ experience? She gets our vote!
22. You think this is bad? You should find out what the ‘P’ stands for.
23. Now there’s an article we’d read.
24. A match made in name Hell.
25. It’s pronounced ‘hay-suss’. So, it’s not funny. After all, what’s funny about ‘Hay-suss Condom’? Oh, right, yeah. The ‘Condom’ bit.
26. What is it with being a taxi driver?
27. ‘Academic Advisor’ Ms. Sawyer’s first tip to school kids? Don’t smoke my first name.
28. At least it’s not the other way around, we suppose.
29. Surely there’s some child protection law against this sort of thing?
30. Probably best not to laugh at Dickie’s name in front of him, eh?
So there you have it. The next time you’re a little down in the dumps because your name’s boring or a bit rubbish, just remember – at least you’re not Jesus Condom!
