Boredom Bash
There are a million different books out there about business, power and success. How to guides that will cost you twenty bucks and get you nowhere. For, you see, the only foolproof way to get to the top in any field is to master ‘The Power Stance’. Look powerful and you will be powerful, that’s the mantra here. And the best way to ooze dominance and alpha status? Stand right. We’re talking firmly rooted, legs spread, taking up space. You may well recognize a few of these postures once you see them.
Let these 15 classic power stances guide you…
1. If you can, raise a leg and rest an arm on it – This demonstrates extreme calm and relaxation, no matter what the situation (like staring at some plans in a jungle).
2. Get your stance on nice and close to others – This guy’s leg’s raised, his arm’s resting on it AND he’s encroaching on someone’s else’s space. Total dominance!
3. Get those legs as far apart as possible – Try not to tear a muscle in your groin, though.
4. Hands on hips shows nonchalance – Leg raised, arm rested, hand on hip. PLUS a bonus… Holding your gaze strongly. This coach is the boss of you.
5. Get powerful over man AND machine – It’s not just other humans that react to your power stance, y’know. Look at this guy totally intimidating a vending machine with his stance…
6. Stance conquers all – It doesn’t matter that this guy’s wearing beige Crocs. Stance trumps Crocs.
7. Practice well and become a stance master – This teacher is so well-trained and experienced, just look how developed his Power Stance buttock muscles are. You could crack diamonds in between those bad boys.
8. Grip is vital – This power stance, at such acute angles – wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for the sturdy grip offered by this guy’s sneakers. So suit up.
9. Stance beats gun – Carry a gun? Why? Just master the Power Stance and there’s no need. This cop is never having to pull his piece. Not with the way he stands.
10. You don’t have to even be standing. Or on the floor – Power’s an attitude. If you can adapt your stance to win at life – you’re halfway there…
11. Practice makes perfect – You don’t have to wait to break out a Power Stance with others. Do it alone (or with only a weirdo metres away taking pictures).
12. There are other benefits too – Look at this dude. He’s not likely to fall over, is he?!
13. Height is no object – Chair look too high to rest your leg on? NONSENSE!
14. Test the limits of the stance – See how far you can spread those legs. Note the way this guy’s neighbour has about quarter of an inch to manoeuvre. Perfect!
15. Dominate your space. Legs far apart? Check. Feet pointing outwards? Check. Bag obstructing the seat next to you? Check. Unapologetic reading of large newspaper in a public space? CHECK.
H/T: Funny Or Die
